Brief Resource Tips
Here are some brief resource tips from the world of NLP. The first two are from an NLP pattern called Aligning Perceptual Positions developed by Connirae Andreas. The third is an example of the power of our inner visual field.
Whenever you are having a difficult conversation with someone, check your eye level with them. What Connirae means by that is are you at eye level with this person in a mental-emotional sense, not in a physical sense. You may discover that you are not at eye level with them but in reality experience yourself as being above them (the expression “looking down on someone”) or experience yourself as being below them (ever felt “put down”?). This eye-level “encoding” has a huge impact on how resourceful you feel in the conversation and also has a very direct impact on how much anger is present in the conversation.
A second, simple adjustment from Aligning Perceptual Positions is also helpful in conflicted conversations is to check where the other person’s voice first enters your body. To do this well avoid assuming that it comes first into your ears. Pause and actually check what you experience. Very frequently you will discover that their voice is first entering somewhere in your torso or some other part of your body. That voice stirs up whatever negative emotions are stored there, and the hearer is so flooded by the negative emotions that they immediately lose resourcefulness and equanimity. Simply move the receiving of the voice up to being received solely in a balanced, symmetrical way in your own two physical ears and enjoy the positive change that simple structural adjustment brings.
A recent client reminded me once again of the tremendous power the organization of our inner perceptual field wields over us. This client was describing a kind of compulsion and an irresistible desire to eat some cake that had been brought into her work place. This woman also had some very clear desires to be her ideal weight, wear more flattering clothing, have greater and pain free mobility, have greater physical confidence, and more energy. When I asked her to close her eyes and tell me where and how the cake was represented in her inner visual field, it was directly and immediately in front of her in all its glory – living color, life size, so real so could smell and taste it. Just looking at the image made her salivate. Where were the visual representations of those health and well-being experiences she wanted? They were inside (and therefore not visible) a small, gray and black and white bucket a long distance off to her upper left in her visual field The outcome of this inner visual organization is predictable. When you find yourself conflicted and not succeeding in having the experiences you want in life, check out where and how you are representing those experiences in your inner perceptual field.